How to Self-Solemnize Your Own Wedding or Elopement

Did you know that there are certain US states where you can actually marry yourself?! And no, we don’t mean get married to yourself (that would be a whole other ballgame). . . but officiate your own marriage ceremony without an officiant present. In this guide, we’ll be breaking down what it means to self-solemnize, the benefits of self-solemnization, and the states where it’s legally allowed.

Disclaimer: Make sure to do your own research at the time of your wedding or elopement, as laws are always changing and may be different than stated in this article!

What is Self-Solemnization?

Self-solemnization (also called self-uniting), in technical terms, is the act of solemnizing your own marriage ceremony—aka officiating your own wedding or elopement! This means you don’t need an officiant present in order to make your ceremony legal under the eyes of the law, just the two of you and any guests you want to have by your side/any witnesses that are required. Self-solemnization is SUCH a cool option for couples who would prefer not to have an outsider perform their ceremony, and feel that their promises to each other are enough on their own.

What Are the Benefits of Self-Solemnizing?

There’s absolutely no right or wrong way to legalize your ceremony, whether you choose to self-solemnize, ask a long-time friend or close family member to officiate, have a clergy member marry you according to your faith, or whatever option feels most true to you. However, there are definitely huge benefits to opting for a self-solemnized elopement or wedding ceremony—here are the three reasons our couples typically choose to officiate on their own, if the state allows it!

Makes the process simple + easy

First off, self-solemnization honestly just makes the process a whole lot easier. Without having to worry about finding the right officiant, you have a big task taken off your plate—and the easier your wedding or elopement planning can be, the better! Plus, instead of communicating your desires, wishes, and vision for your ceremony to a third party, you can simply discuss it between the two of you in a more private, meaningful way.

Get married in private

The biggest reason we see couples choose to officiate their own ceremony is a desire for a more intimate ceremony, with fewer eyes on them as they exchange their vows. Having a loved one officiate can be amazing and super special, but sometimes, it can feel more meaningful to exchange your sentimental words without anyone else around! Especially if you get nervous speaking in front of people, and don’t want to feel like you’re being watched while you pour your heart out to your partner.

If you want TOTAL privacy during your elopement or wedding ceremony, you can get married in either Colorado or the District of Columbia, where neither an officiant or witnesses are required! It’ll just be the two of you, your photographer/videographer, and maybe the pets you bring along to be part of the big moment.

Save money on officiant costs

Last but not least, who doesn’t want to save a little money on their wedding? If you don’t need to hire an officiant, that also means you don’t need to pay for an officiant. So if you’re trying to find ways to lower your budget or put your money toward other parts of your wedding, you might want to consider getting married in a state where an officiant isn’t required!

9 States Where You Can Officiate Your Own Wedding (Self-Solemnize)

Before you get too excited and skip hiring an officiant, you need to make sure you choose a state where you can actually self-solemnize legally! There are 9 states in the US where some form of self-solemnization is legal, and each one has slightly different rules + processes you need to follow. Below, we’ve broken down how to officiate your own wedding in each state, and exactly what type of self-solemnization is allowed.

Full Self-Solemnization

These are states where anybody can self-solemnize their own marriage.

Colorado

Colorado is without a doubt one of the easiest states to get married in, because you don’t need an officiant OR any witnesses—and there are no conditions you’re required to meet in order to self-solemnize! All you need to do is apply for your marriage license as usual, sign it yourselves after your ceremony, and return it to be finalized. Easy peasy!

And one of the most fun parts of getting married without needing an officiant or witnesses? Your dog could serve as your witness! We’ve had couples do this (like Paige and Dan), putting their pup’s paw print on their license once they’ve tied the knot—and it’s the cutest thing EVER. More about how to plan your epic Colorado elopement here 🤙

District of Columbia

DC is another easy place to tie the knot, because you can self-solemnize without meeting any additional requirements, and no witnesses are needed. Simple apply for your marriage license online or in-person at the Marriage Bureau, and list either you or your partner as the officiant on your application.

Pennsylvania

Pennsylvania recognizes marriages performed without an officiant if you obtain a self-uniting license. All you need to do? Let the clerk know that you want a self-uniting license when you go to apply for your license at the Register of Wills office in your county. Two witnesses are still required, even if you officiate on your own.

Kansas

Kansas law allows couples to legally tie the knot without an officiant, as long as you have two witnesses present. Simply inform the clerk that your ceremony will be self-united, and they’ll let you know if your specific county requires a special license. Sign your marriage license yourselves after the fact, and you’ll be good to go!

Conditional Self-Solemnization

These are states where self-solemnization is only allowed on certain conditions, or if your marriage meets specific requirements.

Illinois

In Illinois, self-solemnization is legal only for religious couples whose faith traditions don’t require an officiant, such as couples belonging to certain Indigenous religions or the Quaker religion. If you’re nonreligious, nondenominational, or associate with a mainstream religion, self-solemnization typically isn’t allowed under the law. No witnesses are needed at your ceremony!

Wisconsin

Wisconsin allows self-solemnization if one or both members of the couple belong to a religion, denomination, or sect that has certain rules around marriage. You’ll simply apply for the normal marriage documents as usual, and enter both of your names in the officiant and name signature fields. Wisconsin doesn’t require you to prove your religion; they’ll take you on your word. You’ll also need to have two witnesses present at your ceremony to make it legal, whether you self-solemnize or not.

California

Self-solemnization is technically allowed in California, except it’s done through what’s called a “non-clergy” marriage license (technically a “License and Certificate of Marriage for Denominations Not Having Clergy”). This type of self-uniting ceremony is meant for couples who aren’t part of a religion/denomination that has a clergy, and still requires you to have two witnesses present to sign your license.

Maine

Maine only permits self-solemnization for couples who are both members of the Quaker, Friend, or Baháʼí religious faiths, and two witnesses are required.

Nevada

Just like in many of the other states on this list, couples can only self-solemnize in Nevada if they’re followers of the Quaker, Friend, or Baháʼí faiths, and get married through those organizations. Be sure to bring at least one witness with you!

Additional Considerations When Picking a State to Self-Solemnize

Besides the specific laws and requirements of self-solemnization, there are a few key things to keep in mind when choosing what state you want to get married in:

Waiting periods

Some states require you to wait a few days from the time you get your finalized license, to the time you can have your ceremony. This typically ranges from 1-3 days, so you’ll need to make sure you account for that in your wedding or elopement timeline, if it applies to your state.

Witnesses

Even though certain states might not require an officiant to be present at your ceremony, you may still need to have witnesses—usually either one or two adults over the age of 16-18, depending on the state. Colorado and the District of Columbia are the only two places in the US where you don’t need an officiant OR any witnesses to have a legal marriage ceremony!

Expiration dates

Don’t forget that marriage licenses are only valid for so long before they expire! Usually, this is a period of 30, 60, or 90 days from the day your marriage license becomes valid—for states with waiting periods, this is the day the waiting period ends. Be sure to have your ceremony within that time frame, otherwise you’ll need to go through the process of getting a new license all over again.

Fees

Finally, every state has its own required fees that come with applying for a marriage license. The main costs you should prepare to pay are fees to submit your application, apply for a special license, or receive extra certified copies.

Hiring a Photo + Video Duo for Your Self-Solemnized Wedding

Sooo, what do you think? Are you going to tie the knot in one of these states where you can marry yourselves, sans officiant?!

Whether or not you feel like this is the right option for your unique day, you’ll definitely need a photographer and videographer there to document it all. And don’t worry—if you decide to self-solemnize for the sake of privacy, we’ll make sure to stay back and let you do your own thing while we capture it all 😎

We’re T & Corey, a husband and wife photo + video duo for all types of celebrations, from traditional weddings to elopements in the middle of the mountains. If you need a little help deciding where to get married (and whether you should self-solemnize or hire an officiant), we’d be stoked to help you pick the best option for you! Reach out and let’s kick off this adventure together 🙌

For more expert guidance just like this, check out a few of our favorite elopement + wedding resources below:

How to Self-Solemnize Your Own Wedding or Elopement

Table of Contents:

What is Self-Solemnization?